Tag Archives: Mother

6 Life Lessons from a Three Year Old.

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photo by simplicity of grace.

I always thought motherhood was teaching your children about the ins and outs of life.

We teach them to walk, talk, and be functional humans. Or that’s the goal. Through their trials, we help encourage them to become better people and learn from what life hands them.

My unconventional start to motherhood sort of took that away from me. I learned so much from Jensen and his death that I would have never imagined. With Mila, I thought it’d be me doing all the teaching, not the learning. In many ways, being her mom has surprised me.

As much as I’ve taught her and helped encourage her to become the sassy three year old that she’s become, she’s made me into a whole new person.

With Bereaved Mother’s Day and Mother’s Day coming up the next two weekends, I’ve been thinking a lot about my motherhood. Jensen has taught me so much about love and living fully. I’ve talked about it extensively through this outlet. This morning, as Mila hugged me not to go, all the lessons she’s taught me have flooded my head.

Here’s just a few.

It’s okay.

One thing Mila did not get from me is anxiety. She is the most steady person I know and it’s a beautiful combination with us two.

When she needs comforted, I’m there for her. I never thought kids could do the same thing. Yet, anytime I’m upset, she comes over and just says, ‘it’s okay.’ Then she’ll shush me and just give me a tight squeeze. This act of hers has taught me so much about patience and realizing the moment will go away.

Anytime I’m feeling stressed when she’s not around, I remember her sweet voice and that seems to help make a lot of things feel okay.

Laugh at the little things.

All I have to do is give our dog a certain look and Mila laughs wildly.

Mila’s taught me not to take life so seriously. After Jensen died, it was hard to laugh freely. With her, she just demands humor and lightness. She’ll do things just to make other people laugh. Or when she’s upset, I know if she laughs once, she’ll be much better.

The mix of seriousness and lightness has balanced out the last three years. She’ll always be the one who giggles at the the little things. I’m happy for that.

Just be you.

In a world where social media dominates, it’s hard to just be yourself. Influencers and the media try to sway us constantly, but Mila has taught me the opposite.

She doesn’t understand advertisements and social media yet, but she’s the opposite force. When I look at her, I see so much uniqueness and individuality, I would never want her to be like anyone else. Just herself. I reflect on that often and encourage her to do follow her ways.

Then, I think about how I can apply that to myself and others around me. I want those that I love (and beyond) to just be them. For me, I just want to be me. There’s not code to follow or correct way to live. The most beautiful person we can be is just ourselves.

Every time I look at her, I’m reminded of that.

Live in the moment.

Mila has taught me to see the world completely differently.

The main way is to live in the moment. I can have 100 things planned out, but she pulls me into the present like no other. It’s funny because I could be doing work and she says, “watch me.” Sometimes I tell her to wait, but then I realize, I can never get this moment back with her. So, we pretend and play and just live.

Work will always be there and it gets done, just a little bit later.

We’re in this together.

I know moms, even myself, complain about never having any alone time. It’s exhausting, so of course Mila and I are in this together.

But, that’s not what I mean.

At three, I have such serious conversations about what she wants for our life too. We decide on where we want to go or what we want to eat. We’ve talked about different vacations or what plants to buy too.

It sounds silly since she’s three, but this is her life and childhood too. Together, we have to make it the very best it can be. When she’s happy, I am too.

We’re in this life and growing together.

Love.

The one thing children bring unconditionally is love.

Love, love, love.

I love Jensen and Mila more than anything. Mila has physically showed me how kids love outwardly. It isn’t in the moments everyone sees or knows about. Even though she’s in a “I like you” stage, she always nods her head when I say, “do you mean love?” back to her.

Love isn’t in her words though. It’s in the hugs where she tells me it’s going to be okay, her laughter that fills the room, and the fruit snacks and juice she brings to bed for us.

She’s taught me how love can glue back a broken heart and even leave space for more.

In these three years, sometimes I get confused about who’s taking care of who. As much as I help her grow, she helps me grow too. I love being her and Jensen’s mom.

What big life lessons have your children taught you?

Explore the Fountain of Dogs in Mount Vernon, Ohio.

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It’s no secret that Mila and I love to explore. Whether it’s in our backyard or a different country, we love adventure. So, finding a Fountain of Dogs wasn’t too out of the ordinary.

Located at South Main Plaza in Mount Vernon, Ohio, sits 18 dogs all spitting water to a golden bone.

We were in town visiting a plant store and after looking for a place to eat. It was quite eye catching to drive by this… playful fountain. I was surprised Mila didn’t see it.

After dinner, we walked around the block and her eyes got so big as she took in the fountain.

If I hadn’t had a hold of her hand to cross the road, she would’ve ran right up to it. For a little girl who LOVES animals, she was impressed.

Upon further inspection, there was a variety of different dogs. Four you could touch and the rest were in the fountain. But, they all were pining for the golden bone in the middle.

There’s also a cat, horse, and two birds that are around the fountain too. They’re not so interested in the bone.

Around the fountain are plenty of benches and it’s a clean place to just relax.

Honestly, if we lived in Mount Vernon, I could imagine eating lunch here during the summer. It’s beautiful, fun, and quite peaceful.

Although if you’re a toddler… there’s no relaxing.

Mila gave every dog or animal she could get to equal attention. She loved putting her hands in the water and trying to get me wet. We were there for about forty-five minutes and I think she ran and climbed the entire time.

When we had to leave, Mila was heartbroken. I reminded her of the plants in our car and she was happy to get them back home. Before we left, she said goodbye to every dog.

We had to get one last picture too.

It was one of the most unusual fountains I’ve ever seen, but I’m glad I got to see it with Mila.

I plan on going back to the plant place and I’m pretty sure the Fountain of Dogs will be on our list of places to stop, maybe for lunch.

If you’re ever in Ohio and love roadside attractions, the Fountain of Dogs is a cute place to go. No matter your age or if you’re a dog lover or not, it’s something to be seen!

What’s your favorite roadside attraction in your state or beyond? Maybe Mila and I will have to go visit!

Toddler DIY: Painted Flower Pots

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Don’t scramble this Mother’s Day to come up with gift. Try these DIY painted flower pots to give to your loved ones.

Not only are they easy to make, it’s adorable watching your child pick out the plants for it.

Plants are great gifts to give because they keep growing! It’s extra special to get a personalized pot as well. The combo makes a beautiful present and you’ll toddler will be proud to gift it.

Here’s everything you’ll need:

Most of these items, you probably have at your house. If you don’t have any extra pots laying around, terracotta pots are inexpensive and can be found at most stores. Another option is to use plastic ones too.

To personalize the pots, I added stickers to it before we painted. This is completely up to you!

Then it was time to set up.

I laid a sheet of parchment paper down on my island. Just so there wasn’t paint everywhere like her Earth Day painting.

Next, I had her let me know what color paint she wanted to do. Another great way to practice her color recognition, which she has nailed! But, it’s always fun listening about her favorite color. I ended up putting all the colors on a plate.

After everything was set up, I instructed her to paint all over the pots.

It took her a little bit to get both of them done.

All of the colors got mixed together too. It made a beautiful green color, but it’s a good word of caution if you don’t want all the colors together.

We let the pots dry and took a nap. I should’ve tried to pull the stickers off before we fell asleep though!

When I removed them, the paint stuck. Of course.

To fix this, I ended up just using permanent markers to fix it. This happens with DIYs. Nothing will ever turn out perfect, but I just love them.

After everything’s dried and the way you’d like it, it’s time to pick the plant or flowers.

I have a ton of plants that need ‘real pots,’ not just nursery pots. Yes, yes. I’m most definitely a crazy plant lady at this point!

Honestly though, I think these turned out so cute. I love how mine turned into a rainbow, marble piece and my mom’s is a nice blue and green swirl. They’re both made with so much love.

You and your toddler can easily make these pots in an afternoon. They’ll make anyone smile to receive!

Let me know what you think about these pots in the comments. If you DIY them, tag me on Instagram: @greyskies.rainbowhighs. I can’t wait to see your and your toddler’s creativity.

Before you go, check out what these other moms are doing for Mother’s Day this year…

Toddler Activity: Nature Scavenger Hunt

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With Earth Day coming up so soon, there’s a ton of crafts and activities circulating online. The best thing you can do with your child is get outside!

No matter if it’s walking on a trail or exploring your backyard, connecting with nature is good for you and the Earth. There’s so much healing that happens when you have fresh air and the grass under your feet. You might need to get a few more baths and showers, but totally worth it.

One way Mila and I keep busy outside is by doing a nature scavenger hunt.

This little board was easy to make. All I did was reuse a piece of cardboard and painted on different colored squares. To help with word recognition, I made sure to write the corresponding color.

To get the clips to stick, I hot glued them on there.

Mila is at the age where she can do this all by herself. So, it’s fun to make two to see the different items each collect.

In the past, I’ve picked up trash to show her how it’s harmful. Even though it’s colorful, I tell her that it doesn’t belong. We talk about what belongs in nature and she tells me trash belongs in the garbage. It’s also a great way to talk about recycling too!

The best part is just being outside.


Although we spend a ton of time out there, this activity extends play and lets us have other discussions too.

We love the Earth and want to make sure we can always spend our time safely outdoors. It may sound a little extreme, but keeping the world around us clean. Educating Mila about that is important to me since she loves it so much.

If you live in Ohio, like us, this might not be the best week to get outside since we’re expecting SNOW! But, this activity can be done on other days than Earth Day too.

As always, if you and your child do this activity, let me know in the comments below.

Self Care: Keep Growing

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I can’t explain how important self care is at least once a week.

By the end of the week, I usually can feel my body and mind aching for a little me time. Just a few moments of not being a mom or any of my roles. Five minutes of just being me.

I was able to write another poem and knew I needed to share it here.

Keep growing…

even when things pull you
apart,
it’s just the time to show heart.

you can do all hard
things,
no matter what life brings.

just keep growing.

Throughout life, there’s always times where it feels constant. You might feel like different responsibilities are ripping you apart. Before letting it tear you down, center yourself. Realize how powerful you are. All you have to do is keep growing and going.

After filling out my planner this week, my thoughts were running; which isn’t the goal for that activity. It was nice to be able to take a few minutes and just paint.

I love plants. They remind me we can grow through any conditions, but when we try to give them what they need, they thrive. Humans aren’t too different from plants in that aspect. I see my plants that are slow growing right now, even during spring. They remind me of myself and getting through these last two weeks of school.

Soon, I’ll be thriving. I need to just keep growing.

How have you practiced self care this week?

5 Tips to a Successful Garden

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Last year, Mila and I tried our best to maintain a toddler garden. With a little practice, we’ve found five tips that really help our garden grow and thrive.

I will admit, we’ve acquired a few houseplants since our go at it last year. It’s really helped up understand what plants need to grow. Germinating seeds are a little more tricky than having houseplants, but it’s the same principal.

We ended up buying an herb kit from the dollar store to practice. It costed $5 for the seeds, soil, and container. I thought it was a great deal. They’re a little wonky right now since they’re growing towards our grow light, but they’ll even out soon!

Here’s what we did to make them sprout.

Warmth

One of the best things you can do for your seeds is to plant them in a warm environment.

At this point, they don’t need a ton of sun. Windowsills can be really cold in April, so keeping them in the kitchen or another warm room of your house is perfect. This will help promote them to germinate and sprout. They also grow quicker when they’re warm.

If they get too cold, they’ll freeze and won’t be viable to sprout.

Humidity

Besides warmth, the other most important component of starting seeds is humidity.

If the heat in your house is on, your home probably doesn’t have a humid environment for the seeds. But, there are easy ways to create it.

The easiest way is to use saran wrap. After you plant your seeds and spray water on them, just tear off a piece of saran wrap and put it over your containers. This and heat will create a humid environment that your seeds will thrive in.

It may not be the prettiest sight, but it really does help!

You could also use plastic takeout boxes or Tupperware to create the same effect too!

Shallow Planting

I think this is where Mila and I messed up the most last year!

Your seeds do not need to be buried in your soil mix. They need to be able to feel the warmth and humidity. Last year, I put them further down and although some sprouted, it was too deep. This year, I mostly spread the seeds on top of the soil and gently pressed them in the soil.

It took them a shorter amount of time to sprout this year and they’re really thriving. I believe this tip was the biggest factor there.

Patience

Gardening and growing herbs and vegetables from seeds take a lot of time and patience.

It can take up to two weeks for seeds to sprout. If they get overwatered or it’s too cold, they can end up rotting and not even sprout. There’s a lot of components and science to starting a garden.

This garden is a great time to talk to your toddler or child of any age about patience. They’ll be excited to check and see if their plants have sprouted every chance they can get. Once they finally start to, your child will be so proud of their efforts. You will be too!

Love

They say plants grow better when listening to happy music. Think how much they can grow from kind words and love from you.

Gardening truly is a labor of love. Not only to the plants, but with you and your little ones too. There are so many teachable moments and just teaching your child that something can grow from the love you put into it sticks.

I might not be the gardening guru, but these tips have helped us out this year. Mila is so excited to see her garden grow!

When our plants get bigger and it’s time to switch pots, I’ll update with those tips too.

If you’re wondering if you should start a garden, you most definitely should! Start small and see what works for you this year. By next year, you can take on more if you’d like. Either way, it can be a fun and ongoing experiment with your kids.

Before you go, check out how these other moms garden with their children:

As always, let me know in the comments if you have any other tips or tricks. Or you can let me know what you’re growing this year.

5 Reasons We Love the Cleveland Metroparks Zoo

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Ohio is full of things to do. One of our favorite places to go are the many zoos our state has to offer. This time, we visited the Cleveland Metroparks Zoo!

To celebrate Jensen’s fifth birthday, I thought it’d be a fun idea to go. Mila is really into animals right now and I love seeing them as well. We found out that April is a perfect time to go, even though we had a sprinkle of rain.

This zoo is HUGE. We didn’t even get to go to two big attractions because there was so much to go through. There’s always next time though.

One tip for when you explore this zoo is to bring your walking shoes! There’s a lot of walking to get to the different attractions. When you do check out these five things we loved about the Cleveland Metroparks zoo.

The Interaction

One of the best parts of this zoo is all the interactions toddlers through adults can utilize.

The zoo key program allows visitors to receive so much information. All you have to do is purchase them and go to the front of different exhibits to find out all about the animals. Mila will love this even more when she’s older.

Her favorite interaction was the animal statues. I think she sat on every single one she could. It was a way for her to get an up close view of the actual animals she just seen. She was very observant and pointed out all of their features. Every parent was respectful of this and wiped down the statues afterwards. I really do think these interactions let Mila explore and understand more.

Hopefully by the next time we visit this zoo, all the playground and other explorative areas will be open. All of these areas are my favorite part of the zoo, but unfortunately they’re closed. The play area in the Australia section is huge and I’m sure Mila would have loved it.

There’s also opportunities to feed different animals and other interactive parts that we didn’t get to do because I thought Mila was a little too young.

The Animals

I’m unsure if it was the time of the year or the animals were just in a really good mood, but they were all out to impress.

Every attraction we went to we could see the animals. Usually in the summer they’re trying to cool off. Since it was a chilly April day, they all wanted to walk around and play. It was amazing to see some of the animals we normally don’t get to see.

Two of my favorites were the big cats and the red pandas.

There are a few different species of big cats, but I was obsessed with the tiger and snow leopard. The tiger was just walking around and kept going right in front of us. He was absolutely beautiful. I don’t think I’ve ever seen one that close up and moving around. The snow leopard, on the other hand, just made me laugh. He was sleepy and hanging out on a little perch just watching. I came to the conclusion that’s how I would be if I was a big cat too.

Then, the red pandas were out to play. It was like they were playing tag. It was adorable and I think we spent way too much time just watching and giggling at them. Again, this isn’t an animal we get to see often, so it was a different experience.

Mila loved the tundra exhibit, especially the wolves. She also enjoyed seeing the African animals, such as the elephants, giraffes, and the lions. They’re all animals she’s very familiar with and she was amazed that she could actually see them in person. The only animals that scared her were the kangaroos. She said they looked like big rats!

The Flamingos

No matter how much we loved all the other animals, the flamingos hold a special place in Mila’s heart. They were the last animals we saw and she asked about them the entire time.

Before we left, we stood for at least twenty minutes just watching them.

We talked about why they were pink and how their ‘knees’ are actually their ankles. She asked why they were squawking at each other too. Mostly, she kept saying she wanted to bet them and let them know they were being ‘good boys.’

Of course we didn’t let her in the enclosure, but she did get her flamingo fix in for the day!

The Carrousel

As mentioned before, there was a little rain that happened. Thankfully, we were right by the carrousel.

Mila has been on one before, but not since she’s been able to remember. While we were in line, she was determined to ride the shark, but a little boy got to it first. After much deliberation, she finally chose the donkey to ride.

She really had a blast. We were able to escape the sprinkle and enjoy a fun ride. It was also great seeing her be independent and wanting to ride by herself.

After the ride was over, she wanted to go back on again and again. It actually lasted for quite awhile which was nice! The carrousel only costed three dollars per adult, which was definitely worth the cost!

The Dippin’ Dots

I mean, this is totally self explanatory.

Believe me, I know Dippin’ Dots are available at most zoos throughout the country. Yet, they’re just extra special when you’re there.

We absolutely loved this visit to the zoo and will definitely be headed back in the near future. Next time we go, we want to make sure to visit “The Rainforest” and the primate area since we missed them this visit.

It truly was a great way to celebrate Jensen’s day!

A big thank you to the Cleveland Metroparks Zoo for having a great place for families to go and learn about animals we normally would never see. It’s always nice to see animals happy and well taken care of! All the zoo employees that we encountered were nice and helpful too!

Have you ever been to the Cleveland Metroparks Zoo? Or where is your favorite zoo that Mila and I can visit in the future? Ohio and beyond!

3 Self Care Tips for Busy Moms.

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After another intense week of grief, schoolwork, and parenting, Self Care Sunday is here.

Now I know it’s still hard find a moment to yourself when you’re a mom, but taking a few moments for yourself is crucial. Set your child up with an activity, go outside with them, or give them a few minutes of screen time. Setting time aside for you is needed.

Even though my time is short today, I wanted to share with you three tips I use every Sunday to recoup. It’s not a ton of time, but it makes me feel prepared and refreshed for the next week.

Use a planner.

If I didn’t have a planner or make lists of what needed done every week, I’d be lost.

I try to put important dates in there every month, but like to review each week. Things pop up and I need to know the game plan.

If you’re juggling more than a few things like me, I’d highly suggest using different colored pens. It makes your schedule more appealing to look at and it’s always fun to write with gel pens. I guess you could say I’ll always have the heart of a middle school girl.

Don’t let your planner make you stressed out. Sometimes if I plan too far in advance, I want to get everything done. Your planner should help guide you, not stress you.

Looking for some planners? Check out this one from Alena Michelle. I love how it breaks down habits, weekly schedules, and your role goals. Or if you prefer a classic planner with lots of space to write, try something like this out.

Take ten minutes for you.

Yes. You deserve ten minutes ALL to yourself.

This shouldn’t be the ten minutes with your planner, but ten minutes (or more if you can) of something you actually want to do. Maybe this is just sitting in silence, listening to your favorite songs or podcasts, or reading. Trust me, after you take that small chunk of time for yourself, you’ll feel refreshed.

Here’s a list of toddler activities you can use to occupy them and give yourself ten or more minutes.

Today, I read rupi kaur’s home body. Rupi is a poet that I’ve followed on Instagram for a long time. Her writing is beautiful and I really connect with her words. She’s relevant to what’s going on in the world and I think anyone can find a connection through her writing.

In my ten minutes today, I read, cried, and felt a lot better about the week and where I’m at with life.

Drink water.

This might sound like a silly tip, but drink some water.

I’ve cut out almost everything besides water with mio added to it. Admittedly, I still can’t cut out my Cherry Coke with dinner, but what can you do.

Anyways, there are SO many benefits that come with drinking water. A big glass always makes me feel better. Plus, my body is thanking me for all the water. My skins been clearer and I’m not craving sugar as much.

The drink your water tip is not just for Sundays, but you could do something special today. Find a water bottle that you love to motivate you to keep drinking water. Lately, I’ve bought different cups and water bottles to keep me wanting to drink more. One of my favorites is my S’well bottle because it stays cold all day. Plus, I love the marbled look.

Pun intended, but you deserve self care and to feel your best.

Did you get any self care time in this week? What can you do to get some in this week?

Jensen is FIVE.

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I always need a few days after Jensen’s birthday to collect all my thoughts.

Five feels really big. He should be half a decade old. That realization is hard to wrap my mind around. Then I remember, I have to live the rest of my life without him. It’s a mix of seeing Mila grow older and knowing five holds so much that really brought me to a dark space this year.

Not that every year isn’t hard because having your child die really sucks.

Anyways, Jensen’s actual birthday was everything it needed to be. We still celebrate his birthday and I probably always will.

This year, I wanted to do an activity a five-year-old would love to do. So, we went to the zoo.

I want to go over how much we loved the Cleveland Zoo in a future post, but it was a huge part of Jensen’s fifth birthday. It would be silly not to share the highlights of the day.

My favorite part of going to the zoo was that all the animals were out. Since it was a cooler day, they were playing and being active. The big cats were all out and not napping. Even the bears were out of their caves and showing off.

Honestly, I thought of Jensen’s birthday eve book. We read On the Night You Were Born by Nancy Tillman. In the book, the animals were all dancing the night the baby was born. It felt like the animals were out at the zoo for Jensen. I know that sounds silly, but those little connections are my only ones to him.

As with anything during child loss, I also wondered what animal Jensen would like seeing the most at the zoo. At five, he’d definitely have a favorite. Part of me felt like he’d have liked the red pandas the most. I wonder if he’d want his face painted too. Just those little things that constantly pop up.

I’ve finally realized it’s okay to have those sad moments in a happy day. Grief and happiness coexist in the strangest way, especially on their birthdays.

Of course we had dippin’ dots at the zoo!

After the zoo, we went out to eat.

There were a few birthdays that got celebrated and it was hard because Jensen didn’t get that. Mila is at an age where she wants to sing along with everyone else’s birthday celebrations when we go out. Yet, we didn’t get one for her brother at the restaurant.

I often wonder what Mila thinks of those types of things. It’s just our life, but it’s just something I think about.

When we got home, we had family over to celebrate Jensen and his birthday. There was ice cream cake, singing, and bubbles. Everyone said his name and that will always be the greatest gift of all.

Just knowing Jensen is remembered and loved brings me such happiness.

Throughout his birthday, I received so many birthday messages and love. I can’t thank everyone enough for that. The love that surrounds him and his memory is so beautiful.

I don’t know what this year of grief looks like. Whenever I try to plan something, it feels like it gets a little derailed.

One thing I want to do in honor of Jensen this year is a backpack drive to donate to a local school. Since he’d be a kindergartner this year, I feel like that would be a beautiful way to honor him. The closer we get to the summer, the more details and information I’ll have on this.

What I do know is that as we dive into year five, he is still so loved and missed.

I think about my little boy every single day. He is the reason I keep going forward and shapes the way I parent Mila. Jensen is a part of our lives in all ways. Even though he isn’t here with us doesn’t mean he isn’t in our hearts.

No matter how many years pass, I’m so proud to be his mom.

Toddler Activity: Egg Rescue

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If you’re stuck with abundant amount of plastic eggs from Easter, let your toddlers play with them! This Egg Rescue is fun for active toddlers who like to work with their hands.

Mila loved ripping through and tearing all the tape off the eggs. It was fun to watch her too!

Here’s what you’ll need:

  • Plastic Easter Eggs
  • Washi Tape
  • Candy, little prizes, or change.

This activity takes a little time to set up. It’s worth it because they get really into it.

Fill Easter eggs with whatever stuffing you’d like. Think of leftover eggs from Easter Egg hunts!

Then, tape them on to whatever table.

Next, have your toddler rip the tape completely off. I made Mila tear off every single piece of tape before she could open the egg. It made her be precise in how she did it.

When they have all their tape off, it’s time for the surprise. Mila had no idea they were filled and was so excited! I let her open the eggs all by herself too.

This activity has so many important motor skills that they use. I also had Mila tell me the color of the egg she was opening to get some color recognition in.

Although I think I spent more time prepping, it really was a lot of fun to watch. She even taped down some of the eggs to keep practicing.

The star of the show was the quarter though!

Mila was genuinely excited that the egg gave it to her. Plus, she got to use her piggy bank which is ALWAYS a treat.

Overall, this is such a fun activity. I think it’d be awesome to do if it was a rainy Easter or in the days following. Since they’re mostly plastic eggs, reusing them for other activities and saving them for next year is great for our world!

I hope you liked this activity and if you try it out, let me know in the comments.