Tag Archives: funny

Embarrassing Story Time: Toothpaste or Something Else?

Posted on by
18

There’s nothing like a little embarrassment, especially from your past self.

I love rereading old blog posts and remembering stories that happened. Sometimes I even go to my old blogs just to see. It makes me laugh every time.

Recently, I’ve started a project with my grandpa (and all the family) and was reminded about one story. It happened clear back in 2015 when I went to watch my little cousin graduate from boot camp. I found it on one of my old blogs and figured I’d share it with you now.

It also makes me smile knowing this was written when Jensen was just a little speck in my belly. I didn’t know yet, but I was pregnant with him.

Look and see how much I’ve grown in six years… and you can laugh at me too.

Brush, Brush, Brush…

As many of you know or would guess, I’m a very clean person. I’m constantly brushing my teeth, washing my hands, or showering. My biggest pet peeve is my teeth being unclean or feel like there’s buildup on them. Every night, I brush my teeth, wash my face, and brush my hair. Every night it goes smoothly, until I went to Fort Leonard Wood, MO this past weekend.

The clouds are low in MO.

Since I wanted to get there a day early, I left with my Uncle Steve and Grandpa. I tried to pack everything I could think of that I would need for one night. Usually my mom will have all the other things I forgot, but she wouldn’t be there. The whole trip was going smoothly. I remembered all my car sickness medicine, my toothbrush, and deodorant. When we got back to the hotel room late, I realized I forget conditioner.

This simple sample-sized product can usually be found in the hotel shower. Yet, there was none. As my uncle and grandpa settled in and started to fall asleep, I snuck down to the lobby to ask nicely for conditioner. Turns out the whole hotel was conditioner free. At this point, I was stuck. I couldn’t ask anyone for keys to drive to the store. Plus, I didn’t even know where a store was. Of course I got on Pinterest and found out once could use lotion as a conditioner substitute. Well, it was worth a try.

Thankfully the lotion worked.
This probably was the biggest success of my nightly routine.

The after effects of lotion: puffy hair.

After my shower I felt like all the travel grime was washed away. I could sleep peacefully all clean in a nice comfortable bed. First things first though, I had to get that minty fresh taste in my mouth. As I’m rummaging through my weekend bag, I realize I forgot one other thing… my toothpaste.

Let’s just say there’s not Pinterest tips to help me here. In my last attempt effort, I saw my grandpa’s toiletry bag by the sink. He has to have toothpaste in there. It only takes a second to find the tube. I get my toothbrush out, squeeze the paste, and go to town on my teeth. But, the toothpaste tasted off, it was bland and seemed to be sticking to my teeth. I keep brushing as best as I could, but still it gets harder around my teeth. Then it tastes and feels as if there’s cement all throughout my mouth.

In a panic, I hurry and look at the ‘toothpaste.’ Instead of saying Colgate, I read Fixodent: All Day Hold.

I just had confused denture adhesive with toothpaste; aka the WORST decision ever. Not only was it the most disgusting taste, I seriously did not think it was going to come out. I kept brushing, but nothing helped.

Long story short, it took my 45 minutes to get all the adhesive out. Better yet, when I put my old clothes back into my bag… I found my toothpaste.

Moral of the Story…

Always put your toothpaste in a place you can easily find.

Hopefully you all enjoyed this post and got a little giggle out of it. Initially after I did this, I only told my mom and did not want anyone else to know. BUT I think you would all enjoy.

What a night to remember.

I think the second best part of finding this was the grainy phone pictures six years ago. Either way, this put a smile to my face.

Do you ever look back on past situations and just laugh? Or have you ever mistaken denture adhesive with toothpaste?

Oh… that last part is definitely just past Danielle.

Advertisement

10 Thoughts On Taking a Toddler Fishing

Posted on by
12

A few weekends ago, Mila went fishing for the first time.

We decided to go for Father’s Day. It’s been a while since my dad and I have went, but we had been talking about it in front of Mila. She had been asking for days and it felt like the perfect time. Father’s Day weekend was a free fishing weekend, so we got a few fishing poles and found a spot by the lake.

What I didn’t realize was how different fishing was with a toddler. Just like my thoughts on Mila’s dance class, I knew I had to share what was going on in my head here too.

Feel free to laugh along with me.

What’s the difference between worms and night crawlers?

Seriously though… what’s the difference? Plus, is it really kosher that I’m buying whatever they are at a gas station? Either way, thank goodness I don’t have to touch them. Maybe Mila will be braver than me.

There’s a lot of gear and snacks that go into fishing.

Fishing pole. Check. Kid’s fishing pole. Check. Snacks. Check. Chairs to sit in. Check.

Did I forget something? Probably.

Thank goodness Papa is here to get everything in working order.

If it was just Mila and I today, there wouldn’t be a ton of fishing. It’d be more of me chasing her around than casting out and catching! She’s grossed out by the worms… I guess we have more jobs for Papa.

It’s time to fish!

It’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for. Our poles are ready. Mila is excited to catch a big fish. Let’s see if we can…

HOOOOOOOK!

Toddlers and sharp objects are not a good combination. Especially when said sharp objects are being hurled through the air. I guess we should have started with some ground rules to begin with and a few practice casts.

Why am I doing more fishing than her?

After the first few casts and no fish, Mila is highly disappointed.

Apparently in her mind they were all going to flock to the worm/night crawlers. I guess no one sent out the being patient while fishing memo to her.

I got one!

Cue the yelling to Mila to help me reel the fish in. As she ran over, I realized I probably scared the rest of the fish away, but this was a BIG moment for her.

No, you don’t have to touch the fish.

After the intense reeling, she eyes up her prize. Once it starts wiggling around, she’s not so sure about touching it. Finally, I convince her to pet it before we throw it back in. Of course, Papa had another job of unhooking it.

Thankfully, Mila stepped up and threw it back in the lake.

I need to catch all the fish for her!

Hours seem to pass quickly and her excitement makes me want to catch even more. We do our normal fish routine, but mixed in is the patience memo she missed.

I guess the boredom helped her get more brave in touching the worms.

This is pretty relaxing.

As it’s time to pack up, the day has been quite relaxing… minus the almost getting hooked every time Mila casted out and the persistent whining. Right before we leave, Mila proclaims that next time we catch a really big fish so we can eat it.

I guess that’s a goal and story for another time.

Have you ever been fishing with your child? If so, what was your favorite part of the experience?

Looking for other camping related activities? Check out these fun ones.

You’ll never believe what Mila did…

Posted on by
6

Throughout parenting Mila, I’ve been pretty open about the ups, downs, and plain weird things that she does.

I could go on and on about her messes. There’s been powder sugar, grout, and flower all over my house. Her and Max love to play in the mud. Then there’s just her every day messes that always seem to accumulate.

This time though… I was shocked.

WARNING! I’ll be talking about bodily fluids so if you’re squeamish, don’t read on.

Mila has been potty trained for a year. It was fairly easy for her since she hates the idea of pee and poop. I was always thankful for the somewhat easy, but comical potty training times.

For some reason, in the last month, she’s been having an issue going number two in the potty.

It might be because she’s busy playing and doesn’t want to stop. Honestly, that’s the only thing I can chalk this story up to.

One night, I was making dinner and Mila wanted to chill out in my bed. I think she was watching a movie with Max and playing with her stuffed animals. When she plays, she constantly talking, but then it got quiet.

Every parent knows that when kids get quiet, something is up.

All of the sudden, I heard her yell, “Mom, I need help!” Then ran in there to see what was happening.

Her voice was coming from the bathroom, but the sight I saw in the bedroom was haunting.

At first glance, there was popcorn everywhere. Then on closer inspection, there was poop underneath of the popcorn. It was everywhere and I couldn’t quite comprehend what had happened in the moments before.

Poop covered in popcorn was all over the floors and on the bed. It was a trail going into the bathroom.

So, I followed the trail and saw Mila.

*not taken from the popcorn poo incident*

She had climbed on the toilet and cried while she told me she didn’t make it to the potty.

I hadn’t noticed…

Her body and the toilet was covered in just the poo. Not quite knowing how to go about the situation at large, I put her in the shower and cleaned the bathroom first.

Then I just stared at the… scene in the bedroom.

I didn’t know how one would ever clean up popcorn crusted poop, but I quickly found out.

The term ‘rage cleaning’ took a new meaning.

After I had a mini breakdown while cleaning, I had to ask her about her thinking. I just could not understand the popcorn addition.

She told me she threw the popcorn over it so Max could eat it. Her explanation was, he likes popcorn she he could just eat both. I guess like a chocolate bar? As she continued to explain, I realized she did it so she could cover her tracks.

I didn’t know if I should laugh, be mad, or how to feel after the whole thing was over.

What I did know was that I had to share with others. Shockingly, after I did, friends and family let me know they’ve had similar potty mishaps. Just minus the popcorn wildcard.

Hopefully some were able to laugh at Mila crazy idea and realized that motherhood is wild. No kid is perfect and I just like to keep it real.

Has your toddler ever done anything similar or is mine just a little bit crazy?

Weird Things My Toddler Does: Part 16

Posted on by
13

You know we had to be back with all the weird things my toddler does. This time, it’s a mix of cuteness and weirdness. You can decide which.

Mila loves birthdays. She thinks it’s so much fun to pick out gifts and cards for the occasion too.

Usually, I take her to the dollar store and let her go wild. She’ll pick all the things that remind her of the person or toys that she can play with them. One time, she chose blue paper plates for her grandpa.

See… weird.

The even stranger part are her card choices, from the inside out.

I’ll take her to the card section and let her pick out any card that she’d like. Sometimes it can get a little crazy. I mean, look at this choice for hee grandma’s birthday…

Before purchasing this must have card, I read it to her. She disagreed with my reading skills. Then she let me know it said: ‘Happy Birthday, Gigi!’

That might be a little embarrassing when she gets older.

Alas, the card was a hit. It caused a lot of laughs and she seemed to be proud of her choice. Even though it was a weird little mix up.

On the inside of each card, she’s learned to sign her name by drawing herself.

As you can see, when Mila draws people, there’s a few parts missing. The big circle is the head. Inside of it are a mouth and two eyes. The two lines at the bottom are legs and the stuff on top is hair.

It may or may not look like a chicken nugget person, but she sure is proud of signing it this way. One day, even though the way she does thinfs is weird, I know I’ll love these strange, little people that she loves to draw. Plus, the gifts that she handpicks are usually my favorite of all.

She might be a little weird, but she has a big heart. Isn’t that the real goal of parenting?

Has your child ever given you a random gift?

Weird Things My Toddler Does: Part 15

Posted on by
11

Welcome to another issue of “Weird Things My Toddler Does.” From the previous 14 parts, we can definitely see that my toddler (like most) is pretty weird. I guess that’s what makes them so much fun.

Mila has taken her weirdness to the streets this time.

With all her shoes and outfits, she has decided to make a twist on what goes together. No, it’s not making weird clothing choices, it has to deal with her shoes. More specifically, crocs.

At this point of being three, Mila has thrown out everything she’s known about wearing shoes. Instead of mimicking the adults around her by wearing matching shoes, she has decided that the perfect outfit centers around one glitter croc and a blue one.

Seriously. Everywhere we go she has to wear this combination.

At the zoo recently, the other parents took notice. They asked if she dressed herself and one even asked if we had lost the other ones. Politely, I just said, “that’s what she wants to wear.”

Although it’s so weird, it was easy to point her out when she went down the slide. Or when I was scanning when she was playing up on playground equipment and I could only see feet, there were the mismatching crocs. I guess her weirdness helps in that way.

Plus, it’s not really conducive to fight about something that goes on her feet. If it makes her happy then that’s what we do.

I think the funniest part of all is she is adamant that these are the feet the mismatching has to go on. She refuses to change it up. The blue has to be the left foot and the glitter on the right.

Three is about making choices and becoming independent… it’s just weird Mila decided to show it off like this.

Cheers to crocs and they still look cute mismatched.

What weird things are you toddlers doing lately? Do you fight with your kids about what they wear or just roll with it?

Weird Things My Toddler Does: Part 14

Posted on by
8

Mila and I cook a lot.

Like seriously, it’s about five times a week. She’s super comfortable around heat sources, tools, and utensils. Plus, she loves trying new foods and dishes. I think when she has a hand in cooking, she’s more into trying whatever we cook.

Her favorite part is mixing and stirring our food. At first, it went normal. Lately, though, I’ve noticed she’s been doing something a little weird while I cook.

It doesn’t matter how many pots we use, she stirs with every single bamboo utensil. Weirder than that, she only uses the utensil for one stir and then discards it.

Not only is it a strange practice, it calls for a ton of clean up.

I guess toddlers like making a mess too. Maybe it’s about time she starts helping with all the dishes.

Let’s hope that she always loves cooking with me and wants to experiment with her food, but maybe gets a little less messy as time goes by. Even just practicing using one utensil instead of them all.

Toddlers are just weird.

Does anyone else’s toddler have to use every single one of an object? Mila does this with paint brushes too!

Weird Things My Toddler Does: Part 13

Posted on by
17

In all the weird things my toddler does, this one has me the most perplexed.

A few weeks ago, I bought Max, our dog, a new chew toy from chewy.com. This pink bunny would be perfect in distracting him away from all of Mila’s stuffed animals… or so I thought.

When I opened it out of the box, Max wagged his tail so much and was so excited to get a new toy. But, there was someone else who had their eye on it…

She still hasn’t let it go either.

Mila has taken claim to this stuffed bunny. Max isn’t even allowed looking at it without her interjecting. Before we leave the house, she hides it in her closet so he can’t get to it. It’s a cat and mouse game that I don’t quite understand.

Instead of her other stuffed animals being saved from Max’s love of chewing, she has protected this bunny with all of her might.

At least this is one toy that doesn’t go into the bathtub.

So, here’s my daughter with the dog’s her chew toy bunny. In her zoo full of crazy colored stuffed animals, for some weird reason, she’s crazy over this particular one.

Toddlers are just weird.

Weird Things My Toddler Does: Part 12

Posted on by
20

If you were wondering if I ran out of weird things Mila does last week, I didn’t. There was just other things to share.

Don’t worry, she’ll always be full of weird things.

Mila’s bedtime routine consists of brushing hair and teeth, reading books, and snuggling. But, a couple months ago, she added something new.

Every night before bed, Mila brings fruit snacks and Capri Suns for a midnight snack. It’s almost on cue. When she’s tired but still fighting sleep, she gets up and gets in the snack cabinet. Then comes with her hands full with these sweet treats.

Every. Single. Night.

I guess it’s sweet that she thinks about me and brings me snacks too. She could just keep them for herself… so that’s sweet.

It’s just a really weird thing to have added into a bedtime routine, especially after her teeth are brushed.

I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again, toddlers are just really weird.

Does your toddler ever bring food to bed?

Weird Things My Toddler Does: Part Eleven

Posted on by
24

At the beginning of the year, I made a jar to document the good things we experienced that week. It’s been fun reflecting, but knowing Mila, she has to make it a little weird.

That’s just what toddlers do!

I will admit, this one is more cute than weird, but I thought it’d be perfect to share with Valentine’s Day coming up.

Mila has had the same thing that makes her happy every week… ME!

When I go to our jar, I date it, then make an “M” for what makes her grateful. Then I ask her what made her happy this last week.

The second time we did it, she just said, “you.” I thought it was the cutest thing ever.

When it came to ask her again, she replied with the same thing. Admittedly, I felt a little bad. I was writing down things I wanted to remember at the end of the year, not just Mila or Jensen. Maybe it was a fluke of her just saying me?

On the fourth week, she said, again, said I was what made her most happy. Still feeling sad, I asked her to elaborate and she said, “playing with you.”

Since that fourth week, I haven’t re-asked her what made her happy and accepted this cuteness.

As much as she loves Pizza, her grandparents, Max, and Mickey Mouse, I always find it a little weird that she consistently chooses me as her happiness. Of all the things in the world and her lame mom is her answer.

Honestly, I’m going to love looking back and remembering that I made her smile for weeks in a row. I know one week she won’t say me and that’s okay.

For now though, I guess she’s just a weirdo, with a big heart for her mom.

Weird Things My Toddler Does: Part Ten

Posted on by
26

We’re back with another week of Mila being weird. There was a lot that I could’ve wrote about, but this one makes me laugh the most.

Everyone meet Pizza the talking sloth!

The first stuffed animal Mila actually decides to name is one that talks back to her. Of all the names in the world, she somehow settled on Pizza.

If that name wasn’t weird enough, just wait.

This sloth repeats everything you say. It can get a little… much. Mila thinks it’s the coolest thing in the world though.

That is until they start arguing. In essence, she’s arguing with herself. It’s quite hilarious.

Their big argument is about who’s a boy and who’s a girl. Mila gets angry with Pizza says he’s a girl because you know, he’s just repeating her. Then when she says, ‘you’re a boy’ and pizza says it back to her… so much anger and annoyance.

Honestly, it’s hilarious to watch. I had to take a video for everyone.

So, yeah. It’s easy to say, my toddler is still weird.

What’s the weirdest thing your toddler has ever named something?