Have you ever watched Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2? At the very end of the Battle of Hogwarts, Harry and Voldemort battle. They jump of a tower at the school and during the sequence you can see the two merging into one another. It’s a really beautiful part of cinematography, but I’ll get back to that part in a second. When they both finally get back on the group, they start the real fight. *An Obvious Spoiler Alert* Harry’s good magic eventually beats out the evil. In the books Voldemort just dies and his body hits the ground, but in the movie he kind of crumbles and turns to ask then floats away. I think they did it that way in the movie because it ‘looked’ better. Right now, I’m thankful they did it that way…

I keep saying I feel like I’m stuck in my body. Maybe I’ve written about it here too, but I know I say it quite frequently. It didn’t really hit me to what I meant until Anthony and I re-watched the series again. At first I was bothered because it looked like how I imagine cremation going, but then it really represented what I keep saying. I don’t think I’m evil or anything, but gosh if it was that easy to just crumble up and be free. My insides feel like they continuously are burning and turning to ash. It hurts to be inside my body and the part where his face sinks in and breaks is how I feel. Actually, I think if I read or heard anyone explain that they feel like they’re movie Voldemort dying, I’d be concerned. But in that moment, it just made sense. It looked like relief.

Pain and grief effing suck.

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