When you drive by my little grey house with black shutters, you’ll be welcomed by a big pallet chair, flowers, and a big signs welcoming you. Everything is very monochromatic, besides the flowers and one flag that hangs to the right of the chair inviting you to sit. This flag is different. Even though it’s oddly out of place, it feels like it’s right where it should. It hangs behind an angel that sits and protects the house. When the wind blows the frays on the bottom dance. Each part of the flag tell a story and as the frays dance in the wind, it also tells a story of love, loss, and hope.
August nineteenth marks the Day of HOPE Prayer Flag Project created by Carly Marie. It is a way to honor children that were taken far too soon. Early in my grief, I stumbled upon Carly Marie’s Facebook page. The way she talked about her son, Christian, and seeing her impact on the loss community really inspired me; just as it has for so many women. This project really spoke to me because I could actually take everything I loved and what I thought Jensen was love and actually make it. Each element from the flag can be traced back from my pregnancy, his nursery, and the baby shower to my grief now. It’s beautiful and it really does dance in the wind, just as he did in my belly.
The tie-dye reminds me of Jensen’s colors, but also how I imagine him in the sky and the clouds. It’s peaceful and a beautiful state for him to always be present in. I love the flowers. We had these at his baby shower and it connects me to the happiness of that day. Plus, orange is his color and they literally jump off the flag when I look at it. His big grey J, for his first name and a play on his middle name. It’s my favorite letter in the alphabet and Anthony and I called Jensen, baby J, for most of the pregnancy. I’m so happy with the way his prayer flag turned out and I hope he is loving it as well.
Thank you for letting me share this day with all of you and if you made a flag for today, I’d love to see! I’ll have a candle on all day to honor Jensen and for all our angels. Today symbolizes hope and I will continue to hope for the future. Hope for Jensen to keep protecting me and feeling my love until I am able to hold him in my arms.