Dear Mila,

It’s been a few days since I’ve been able to write. I wanted to post and participate every day of May We All Heal, but life gets a little crazy at times.

In the days I haven’t shared, you’ve grown and changed everyday. It seems impossible that a person can get so much bigger in just a few short days. You truly are blossoming I’m more ways than I imagined and I know this will happen for the rest of your life.

After you were born, I realized all the things I had missed with your brother. Things that I didn’t really know happened with parenting a newborn or being a mom to a living child. There are so many moments and experiences I crave even more with him now that I know I’ll just have to imagine. Sometimes that’s a hard pill to swallow, but I’m thankful I get to have them with you.

Do you want to know the one thing I always thought he’d do for me? Pick me flowers. I imagined he’d go pick flowers from the landscaping and the dandelions in the yard. He would bring them in to the house for me and we’d have to put them in water so they would keep. Maybe that’s why I always have fresh flowers in the house. They make me smile and think of him and the imaginary little cup of dandelions we’d have all summer long.

That’s one of the ways Jensen continues to blossom.

His love continues to grow and that’s what keeps his memory alive. He’s in every dandelion I see and every bouquet of flowers I bring home. The only difference is he continues to blossom and we’ll never let him wilt away. He’ll always be your big brother and my son.

You two will blossom in different ways, but each as beautiful as the other.

I love you.

Mama