From the moment I saw the word ‘pregnant’ on the first test I took, he made me a mother.
Through those early weeks of excitement to see him grow and feel him move, he made me a mother.The first time I heard that strong, galloping heartbeat, he made me a mother.
When he showed off what made him be a boy on the ultrasound screen, he made me a mother.
During the worry of wondering if I was going to be a good enough mother to him, he made me a mother.
Feeling his kicks everyday and him jab me when I didn’t lay on my left side, he made me a mother.
Through those last weeks of anticipation for his big arrival, he made me a mother.
Giving me a quick, almost painless labor, he made me a mother.
During those weeks of deep pain and grief, he made me a mother.
In these weeks of healing and living our new normal, he made me a mother.
Even through our tragic story, there is an endless, unbreakable love that will always stay because he made me a mother.
He made me a mother and I am so proud that he’s my son.
On this Mother’s Day, I’m honoring my motherhood and the love I have for my son by showing him off to the world. When I see him, my whole being fills with pride and happiness. I made this little human and he’s given me a life I never knew was possible.
My only wish for this day (as it is on every day) is to have him back in my arms. I know this isn’t possible. So instead, I hope someone tells me ‘Happy Mother’s Day.’ I hope someone says Jensen name to me. I hope every mother who has lost a baby feels honored today. Just as I hope anyone who is facing this day without their mom, or sister, or aunt, or grandmother, feels like their loved one is forever remembered and honored.
Hold the ones you care about most near your heart. There are so many others that have to carry others in their. Just like I carry Jensen and his great-grandmother in mine.
This little boy, he means the world to me. He made me his mother and that’s my favorite part about myself.